Confessions of a Control Freak

Ok... so maybe I have control issues... so the toilet paper has to hang over the top of the roll... and it just "makes sense" to have all my pieces of clothing face the same way in the closet... and again, it's uncomfortable to hold hands with someone backwards...

It has been brought to my attention lately, ... that I have some "problems" with control. That's my take. Yessir! Just tendencies. right??... : P

What seems to bring out the worst of my clutching grip over my circumstances is when plans change. I hate change. In fact, the only change I DO like is in my coin jar. Or wallet. Watch the traffic back up like a clogged septic tank, and you can watch me go from (ok, here's where I date myself) deep blue on the mood ring to onyx black. Planning cascades out the window - a dissolving pipe-dream. Or watch me squirm like a toddler in a highchair when "Fearless Leader" changes a set list... yeah... sigh.. it's bad...

Letting go? Hmmm... I would rather ride a camel in New York city traffic in mid August. Smells and all... I'd also rather face a blind date... or even buy a bathing suit! ok... I would rather HAVE MY PICTURE TAKEN!!! (watch out for the lightening bolt on THAT one!) : P

So where are you going with all this rambling, you ask?? (wearily, I might add) : D

Just to point out the trust and control are linked. I know in Whom I trust. Not that it's been easy. It's been a process. I am in process. A kicking and screaming process, but in a process, nonetheless...

The One who made me can certainly keep me. He has hundreds of promises to that effect. Little by little, my fingers become unpried from holding on to my life with death talons. You might not see grass grow day to day, but it DOES grow... and with a smile and upraised open hand, and I get closer to Home!