The heat is up!

Oh, it was truly one of "those" days. You know, the ones that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. As you wash the coating of weariness off of your face, you could almost swear that you see a bullseye painted on your forehead. The stretching was so palpable today, that you could almost see your skin expand. *sigh* Not having the energy to pull off your clothes, you fall onto the bed.
When I am having a day like that, and yes, they can wreak havoc with your peace - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. : ) one promise I grasp with the desperation of a lonely cave dweller - truth!!! ... my Maker has a plan... whatever pain I am pressed through, whatever hardship, whatever darkness I must crawl beyond, I know that there is a fragrance that will emerge as I come out on the other side. Like a pressed grape the sweetness emerges. No trial is pleasant as I go through it, but I can trust that my character is being perfected, and I am one step closer to the finish line. I know that the pressures have a purpose! Something good WILL come of it. Like baking a pie- you put the ingredients in a pan, but without the heat, nothing worth eating comes from it. Hang on, love. The results are going to be nothing short of miraculous! <3

Daddy's Love

Let's face it.. There are few things more precious than a baby. A squirming cooing, drooling, squalling bundle of joy! Today was the pilgrimage to New Hampshire to bring my aunt to see Kim and Jason's newborn. Well, almost. He is now all of seven weeks. : ) .. what a roly poly adorable little man! Between Rylin: the French Bull Dog, and Braylon: the easily most beautiful baby boy ever, I had my eyes, ears, and hands full. It's wonderful to see a baby change the house. Four women sitting around cooing and fawning over every single movement, burp, and wet grin. In twenty years he will most likely ache for four women (hopefully not so old, lol) to fawn over him that much... : )

Auntie and I were talking about him the whole two and a half hour ride home. Of course! His every move, who evoked the most grins, and of course the inevitable "which parent he resembles more". What an inexhaustible font of gushing we had!

Imagine another scene with me. A pretty remarkable one, at that. A Father that is looking at His child. Every step, every tear, every laugh, every movement watched over, every victory applauded. Heaven sized hugs from a proud Daddy... "That one is Mine", He says proudly to the onlookers. As they look more closely, the ensuing discourse is about who the child resembles. The Father laughs and says, "Can't you see?? She looks like Me!"

Click

Do you remember the movie "Click"? Did you see it? Adam Sandler stumbles upon a remote control to fast forward through the tough times in his life. He receives a warning though, he can't go backward once he has gone ahead. Only one direction. Fight with wife? Click. Money problems? Click. Trouble at work? Click. At first he fast forwards only briefly, little snippets of time here and there. Eventually, though, as he discovers the ease of avoiding the stress, he takes larger chunks of time. Half of his kid's life. Click. Messy divorce. Click. As he gets near the end of his life, he realizes something. He missed a good deal of it. Avoiding. Me? I will do almost anything to avoid pain!!! Ask my dentist. He has an A.P.B. out for me even now. : ) ... That doesn't seem to phase the Lord. He has been weeding out people and things in my life like a gardener. Weeding out bad thinking and selfish character traits that I hold onto like crazed women at a yard sale. He carefully prunes and shapes and turns up the heat. At some points, I want to run in the other direction. and try to. : D. All the while the process is slowly edging on, I fuss, caterwaul, dodge, and grimace. There's a slip of paper that I have taped to my desk here at the house- the author is unknown, but I think it's worth tatooing to my forehead:

"Strength doesn't come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength. When you go through hardship and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

As awesome as that is, it's not quite the whole picture. Surrender is the key. Not to the trial, but the One who is working through the trial. Working in me to produce the traits He wants to. Working in and through me to cause me to rely on nothing or no one but Him. As I embrace the pain, it turns color. It transforms from the grey mundane of here and now to the bright golden future! I see more of Him in me these days. More patience, more self control, more gentleness. Less envy, less anger, and a whole lot less discontent.

So, next time you see yourself in a pickle, broiling in traffic, offended in the supermarket line, or at the wrong end of a phone call, try asking yourself- what color am I turning? : )

Have a great week!

Itching... it can be agonizing.. that itchy spot.. right in the upper center of your back.. JUST out of reach of the back scratcher. Those are some miserable moments.. Using door frames, rulers, spatulas, almost anything to relieve the itch. What are your inventive itch relievers? I have seriously been considering inventing a fold-able back scratcher that can mold to your back. Just working on the details... The itch can drive you almost to desperation.

and when you get relief??? ahhhhhhhhh.... it settles you immediately! I have been extra itchy lately.. itchy mood, itchy skin (ah, New England winters!!) and itchy to play my bass... it's been a while. I think I can count on one hand the times in the past 6 months that I have played my bass with anyone else.. Me.. the one that used to fall asleep with the bass in my hands. I would take that thing everywhere, just for the desperate chance to play. Hoping against all hope that a jam would break out, and I could, once again, scratch that itch..

It's amazing. Put me with some reasonably talented players and I can thrive. There is nothing like a good challenge. It's exhilarating to write bass lines on the spot. Especially if they are in an unusual time signature, or the groove is phat! Oh, I love those times!! More often than not lately, I have had mediocre play, mediocre enthusiasm, and mediocre results. My heart doesn't engage in those times. I am balancing a checking account rather than charting new territory musically. Give me a 5/4 with min/major scale, augment and suspend it some, and I am floating.. <3

I am itching spiritually, too. itching to be more than I am. itching to soar. itching to be cradled in Arms that keep me from mediocrity. In and of myself, I am medicore.. sadly.. but lifted high above my circumstances, I can fly. Itching for this winter of my life to be over with.

I finally started to do something about the musical itch. it's time..

Now about the itch to fly.

Much love to you as you search for the Back Scratcher!

Looking back to look forward

Today, more than any other day, I felt it was time... There was a moment today that I just had to share. For any of you that know me, (God help you, if you do, lol) it's been just over a year since I lost my mom. It was so painful! and crushed into the time warp of just over three weeks. In some ways, I am still reeling. My mom and I had a very unusual relationship.. My mother HAD to be the MOST competitive person that I have ever met. Even cooking with me, she would compete. When you are insecure, the results can be disasterous... suffice it to say that sometimes I came away feeling like I just never measured up. Well, often, sadly. Today, as I am unpacking in my new digs for the perhaps tenth time in just over a year (GASP!), I uncovered a treasure! Buried within the debris of files was a note mom had written to me sometime within the past two years. It instantly brought a flood of tears.

I want to share it with you:

No, not just to make you run for the Kleenex, : P .. seriously,

I want to share the value of encouragement..

incidently... **EN-COURAGE- ment - to give courage... I know I need that pretty often

Count Your Blessings!

You Are:

kind

loving

generous

pretty (that one I DID balk at some)

loyal to friends

loved by a mother who sees all the good in you, and doesn't care if you are tall, or short, fat or thin,

envies your enormous talent and is proud that you are mine.

Coming at a time when I miss her so, it was a gift from my Father, who understands when I hurt and always seems to send me courage... aka.. encouragment...

I think it's a lesson for all of us. Give that praise, send that note, bring that dinner to someone's house, or have them over,

watch someone's kids for them, send the flowers... btw, I love gerbera daisies and tulips.. lol...

You never know how one act of kindness might change the course of someone's life.