About Being Pursued

The unheard of. TWO blog entries in one night. 

Apparently, I have a lot to say. That may be dangerous for you, Proceed with caution. Have a seat whilst I get the yellow and black tape. 

What is churning around in the cranium tonight, besides the insufferable heat and humidity, is this...

Being pursued. 

Being chased, as it were. 

We live in a society where women have clawed, scratched, bit, and fought their way to equality and rights. 

We have thrown our aprons into the dung heap and opted to win bread with the spousal units. 

The thing is, I think we might have trampled chivalry just a wee bit in the process... 

It's great that we can get the same chances as men; that we can garner fairer pay for jobs that are basically the same. The fact that we have to work twice as hard to be "half" as good is another diatribe for another day. 

But in the interest of focus, time, and saving your sanity, I will valiantly strive to keep to the point. 

It needs to be said that there is something to being courted. sought after, chased - as it were.

I was created with a longing to be rescued. To be seen as a prize... worthwhile... all that and a bag of chips? The Princess Syndrome. You know? Castles, moats, danger, a troll or two? 

I also have the "antiquated" thinking that men have this inner most desire to seek after, obtain, chase - as it were. Adventure is branded into their souls.  

Convenient, eh? 

As God does with me, draws me to Him - causing me to seek after Him and discover the really cool things that come from that..for example, how amazing He is. Another great adventure... I really think He programmed us to be like Him. 

I can tell you one thing... The man that finally saddles up the horse and goes after this child of the King is going to discover that it WAS worth the wait... 

God bless you and have sweet sleep! 

<><

 

 

Insecurity and the stage

There's one thing coming across the radar I would love to make a couple of points about. It's the bane of the newbie musician. 

I don't miss the insanity of the perfection trap. That crippling fear of making a mistake during a gig, You know the feeling, I am guessing? I had it so bad that I would throw up before shows and get so panicked that I would blow it. 

You know what fixed that? Screwing up royally... making a train wreck of the song and realizing that I would live through it. That tomorrow would still come. It WASN'T the end of the world... (well, not yet, anyway) :) 

That, and remembering two key things. 

Number one: I am the best person for the job at the moment. I know that song, and while others may play worlds better than me, (and they do!) I am the one in the driver's seat. I have the opportunity to shine IF I can keep my focus. 

Number two: Most people can't tell when you have made a mistake. They may be able to tell you that something was off, but probably can't pinpoint that it was you. Unless you are playing for a crowd of musicians. 

I do have a unique style. I may be surrounded by kids that can outplay me with 1.95 hands tied behind their backs, again, BUT, I have something unique and special to add to whatever gig I am doing. Plus, whoever I am playing with picked me. Or, was stuck with me - in which case this point is moot. 

There is one more important point to this post. BE TEACHABLE! 

I have taken note that time and time again, "the greats" - you know, the musicians that excel and play the most? The ones that stand the test of time.  They are most often pretty humble people. It seems the better the player, the more humble they are. 

Except, probably in my case. :P 

But seriously, every great player I have ever geeked at and drooled over is usually a pretty approachable encouraging example.

If you have stumbled across this little inconspicuous blog amongst the tidal waves of others, I hope it gives you a bit of encouragement. Keep practicing; keep giving away what you have and you will get back even more  ;) 

God bless! 

<>< 

The Job and The Bass

It's been ages since I have blogged anything... Heck, I haven't even written much, unless you count Excel spreadsheets. Which, thankfully, I am not. 

During the past year I have gotten a full time job. What I didn't count on was the effect that that would have on my life in all facets creative. 

After years of coping with part time work and part time pay, I do have to say, it's been wonderful being able to get out of critical debt. 

It's been freeing to be able to pay bills, and enjoy a meal out.

But with that came the insane hours that would not allow me to keep playing my bass with others. In fact, they make most social activity nearly impossible. 

As a young player, I would hear things over and over from older players: "Well, I had to feed my family and music just HAD to take a back seat." "Gotta pay the rent." 

I could never understand how a creative out of the box type like me could succumb to such travesty. The painful lurch into "Mundania. I have had to make that same adjustment. It got so bad I even entertained the idea of selling my bass... there... I said it... 

Time after time the comments from the "well meanings" are the same.. 

"Just be glad you have a job,"  or  "at least you are working," aannnnnd my personal favorite... 
"you are there for a reason" *facepalm*

Yes, I am...yes, I am... and yep...................... I am ...sigh 

I can't speak for you all, but I know I seem to die a bit daily without the platform to make a joyful ruckus with that hunk of wood. I love the connections that music and all aspects of making it, afford. That in the zone jam where you are so "in tune" with each other. (insert religious note here: and the connection that happens in/through worship to God - off the charts! Ok, the "religious" talk is over; it's safe now) Carry on. 

At first I would respond defensively, "You just don't get it. It's torture for me to loose my creative outlet. It's like losing my right arm." 

Eventually, I just began to smile and nod with a sort of far away blank stare.

I am determined, one day at a time, to keep my mind from wandering to far into the "what ifs."

But just for today- I am keeping the options open, not giving up hope, and I am not going to set down roots in the Land of Eeyore... (who I just love, by the way) 

Have a great day, and play hard! <>< 

Lori