Digging in

Hello again! 

It's been a year since I have really had anything to say. (well, at least here)

I have been in a holding pattern of sorts, which may or may not be a good thing.

Have you ever contended for something? Stood your ground, fought the good fight, kept your eyes on the prize and all that? All the while, you watch your phone, emails, and mailbox for answers? 

Digging your heels in, you hold your breath in anticipation, sure that the answer is just around the corner? 

As time resolutely cranks past, the answer is too glaringly evident. It's a "NO." Whether it's sonorous or a whisper, it's still the same. 

Disappointment sets in the cracks of your heart, as you struggle to make sense of it.

It is at that very moment that I have a choice to make. 

I can become bItter, or I can become bEtter.. 
One little letter, so many facets.  

God tells me over and over that I need to trust Him. Especially when things don't make sense. When the bills are in collections, and I lose my job. When the doctor comes in with a terminal diagnosis. When the car is totaled. When I am betrayed. When "he" breaks my heart. 

Trust in Someone I can't even see? 

If I choose to look at this problem as a drop in the bucket of eternity, it looses the paralyzing grip on my heart. 

I love the Psalms, they always speak to my heart. 

Ps. 37:23 says "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." 

Ps. 62:8 "trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." 

and 

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You." 

Be encouraged, for those that are His, there is GOOD to come out of it, somehow. it might not start there, but it will get there. 

"and we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  Romans 8:28 

Have a GREAT day, and keep on keepin' on! 

<>< 

Relighting the Fire, or Getting out of the Musical Slump

Good day, all! 

I know what you are thinking... WHAT in the world does this pitiful little tree have to do with the title? 

All in good time, my pretty, all in good time... :P 

Have you, as a musician, artist, or child of God, ever been bored musically (or yes, even spiritually)? Is your creative spark or flame pretty much snuffed out? Where is that burning passion that you had when you first began to play or create? 

When I first began to play the bass, I would be so wrapped up in it - I would fall asleep with it sprawled across me. I would wake up and play, and dream all the live long day about notes, rhythms, cool riffs, etc... 

Every chance I got, I would play with people and explore new sounds and songs, practicing for hours.  

Well, I have gotten, as of late, into a bit of a funk... (no, not the good kind :) As much as I love the people I play regularly with, a bit of the shine has rubbed off the apple. We basically adhere to one musical style -more or less, and I find myself pedaling. a lot. Quarter notes have taken root in my brain.  #thatsanunderstatement 

How do I rekindle the spark that first held me captive? (and yes, as is often the case, I need a bit of a jump start in my walk with God as well...) funny how that works... 

That little tree, (thanks Rochelle M. for the pic), is a good picture of me right now. 

In many ways, I am down to bare bones... all the junk, pretense, and mechanical response is being stripped away...a good place for a fire to start, wouldn't you say? 

I am doing a few things to get back on track. 

• First of all, I maintain that this slump will pass... I won't stay in the doldrums forever. My creative juices will start working again, and the best is yet coming!

• Dare to stretch yourself- I recently began jamming along to some Vince Guaraldi and rediscovered the challenge and thrill of what made me fall in love with that bass to begin with. Branching out makes you a better player, and enables you to "speak more languages" as they say. 

• Keep venturing out of that comfort zone. We were never meant to stay there. It's too easy to set up a zip code in the comfort zone! It's only when we get comfortable with the UNcomfortable that we grow! What, ME play Reggae??? YES! Find tasty little riffs that you can insert into the right spots.Challenge yourself to break out of the same meters. It really helps loosen any monotony.

As far as my walk with my Creator? 

I make gratitude lists. Sometimes I have to start small. Like that bare tree, build wisely! 

"Today, I am thankful for ____________."  You fill in the blank. You would be amazed at how that can snowball. Even more amazing, the more thankful you are, the more you maintain a positive frame of mind. 

Meditating on what's true, lovely, and good... 

Now WHERE have I heard THAT before??   lol

God bless! 

Lori 

 

Fill 'er Up!

Gas prices have dropped by a minuscule hair breadth... and, of course,  I am profoundly thankful. I figure any expense that actually drops is moving in the right direction. 

So, of course, my thoughts travel. Now would be the time to RUN sit back and endure enjoy this week's diatribe. 

As I am thinking of full gas tanks, I reflect that there are other "fulls" too. 

As the holidays approach with the usual sneak and stealth, I am thinking of full stockings, full plates, and then consequently, full bellies.

You can fill up your mind, your heart, and be full of a lot of things... not all of them good - i.e. be full of pride, bitterness, anger, drugs, alcohol, etc...

It's so easy to fill up your day, your house, credit card balances, wardrobe, and your calendar. 

The problem with a lot of "fills" is that they leave you emptier that you started. It's like trying to drink nail polish remover. It looks like water, it pours, but it evaporates and won't satisfy. In fact, it will make you sick! 

When you drink to escape, eat to numb, run on empty, and shop til you drop, you aren't helping.That problem, that hunger, that lonely won't go away at the end of it. 

We live in a society that breathes microwave-instant-now! We want full, and we want it NOW!!!! 

Can I tell you what satisfies? Every time? No lie... 

It's not a what, but a Who... 

Check this out... 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (in effect, Jesus), for they will be filled. Mathew 5:6

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:8 

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 
Ephesians 3:17, 18

So, let God open you up! Running over and spilling out to all those that are hurting right about now. 

Trust me, there's nothing like it <>< 

God bless!!! 

Single Minded

Here's mom and dad... also known as Flo and Joe, respectively. 

Aren't they adorable? They were married for 59 years. Then my dad changed his mailing address to Heaven...three years later mom went, too.

It's been a challenge learning how to live without them. To say adapt is woefully inadequate. 

Since their passing, things have changed in consecutive 360* circles. Repeatedly. 

As a young woman, I couldn't even imagine getting married. 

When Jesus throttled my world at thirty four, I slowly grew to think that getting married would be a really cool thing. 

Now, years later, I am learning to function as a single woman, for all intents and purposes, alone. Alone in a world designed for "twos." 

It can, at times, be incredibly lonely. 

The married couples usually tell me that I am better off single - "Married people are often as lonely as single people." "Marriage is overrated." "You're better off, you won't have to deal with divorce."

Wow...

How do I maintain sanity in all this? 

Firstly, I am incredibly thankful for a God that takes care of me, and sends people to make the journey a little easier... 

I keep my focus on the race that I am running... I am running to win...  "Don't you realize that in a race everybody runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!" 1 Corinthians 9:24

and 

as far as heaven goes, Jesus said it really well: 

"When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will ALWAYS be with me where I am." John 14:3 

I can't imagine a better place to be than in His arms, can you?

and

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize that there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you  Lao Tzu 


and

"Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth."  1 Timothy 6:6


So, let hope arise, and dare to trust the One that holds you in His Hands. 

The best is yet to come! 

God bless- 

Lori 

A New Day

What an absolutely gorgeous day!!! With dew point and humidity actually cooperating - it's perfect!

Yesterday was humid, icky, and uncomfortable. 

But today is a new day... Carpe Diem!!!

That means seize the day in Latin. 

Seize, according to the incomparable wisdom of Google: 

Verb: 1.to take hold of suddenly and forcibly.

2. Capture (a place) using force. 

Wow, that is intense! 

Therefore, with all the passion I have, I am going to make the most of this gift, today. 

So I will love hard and make the most of who and what I have been given. 

I am learning to live in the moment, rather than worrying, fretting about things in the future - which usually don't end up happening anyway,  and dwelling in the mistakes of yesterday. 

Chew on this promise from God's Word: 

The faithful love of the Lord NEVER ends, 

His mercies NEVER cease.

Great is His faithfulness;

His mercies begin afresh EVERY morning!

Lamentations 3:22,23 

So, as you are loved,  go out and do the same!

God bless! 

Lori  

 

Cramming for Finals

I can't  believe the semester is almost over. It seems like yesterday I was stumbling through awkward introductions. 

Here I sit on a glorious Sunday afternoon. Inside. Here, at my friendly neighborhood Starbucks, I'm in good company. The tables are full, and you can hear tapping and sipping as we conquer agendas, bit by bit.

I have ONE class... One. It's the first class back from a 24 year hiatus. Comparatively, it's not anywhere near as mind-numbing bad as next semester will be- it was a tentative baby step in my quest to finish what I started oh so long ago. 

Many things have changed. The school, the subjects, the faces, and certainly my capacity to retain. Thanks menopause - appreciate it. 

One thing that hasn't changed is the driving need to cram. 

Whoever said that there is no prayer in schools certainly has never sat through a make or break test or exam. 

"Ok", you ask, "Where is the inevitable spiritual analogy?" 

Glad you asked!!! lol

We wait to get ourselves right with God. We wait until the last possible minute, thinking that it will be such a dreadful odious affair. 

What if I tell you that you are wrong! Once you acknowledge (notice that the word knowledge is in acknowledge- pretty cool, huh?) that you need help,  you find an ocean of grace and peace... pretty sweet!

Here's truth - yesterday is a cancelled check, and tomorrow is a promissory note - Carpe Diem!!! 

So, don't wait... Ask Him to reveal Himself to you so you don't miss out on what you can experience today!

God bless and happy cramming!!! <>< 




References to check out in Scripture: 

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16 

"For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Romans 10:13 

"But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to cleanse us from all wickedness."   1 John 1:9 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Ok... lately, I have been revisiting my thoughts on trials, afflictions, and bumps (or moguls) in the road. 

As a child I had the idea that "if I can just make it through ----------------, everything will be sooo much better!" 

I would get through whatever problem or obstacle that I faced, just to find another looming over the horizon. 

I have spent most of my life waiting for that "golden field of easy" to appear and let me dive in! 

It's taken me way too long many years to figure out that that isn't going to happen... 

Instead, I have discovered something that, for me, is fascinating... 

There, in the MIDST of the roller coaster ride that life deals, are the opportunities to create my own "golden field."

There have been times of deep and plaguing doubt, gut wrenching pain, and betrayal that have rocked me to the core. Sometimes it's my own, and sometimes it's those I love that are going through the monsoon. 

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over.... and over.. and over... and over... and over... and expecting different results. YES!

That being said, waiting for everything to be perfect or even easy isn't cutting it anymore. 

If I want to be happy and find contentment, I need to see the nuggets that are placed in my life and seize the joy in them :)

I am learning that the laughter of my loved ones, the surprising and unexpected blessings, and the wonder and love of God have been helping to sustain me through the tough times. 

So there won't be that field of easy....  *many are the afflictions of the righteous (I am righteous by His grace, not my doing) but the Lord rescues them from them all!!!* Psalm 34:19 

One day at a time, I have what I need to get through that day.  I am learning to be grateful for the small things and believe me, that attitude is contagious! 

So, yes... there IS a Light at the end of the tunnel            <><  

Photo credit for photo 2 - A beautiful Mess Inside - thank you!!! 

Hope for tomorrow

While I don't generally get "preachy" I wanted to give you a wee bit of encouragement. This seems like a pretty good place to start :) 

At a time when so many are grappling with depression and some really hard things, I am finding myself torn between two extremes. 

While I am excited about the promise that a new year brings, I am also feeling bittersweet. 

This was a hard year, both for Connecticut, and for me, personally. 

Our state saw extreme devastation with Hurricane Sandy wreaking havoc with countless communities. We had a crazed gunman snuff out precious little and not so little lives - most of them never had a chance to grow and thrive. 

Personally, I have watched cancer spread it's ugly dark canvass over many of my dearest and closest. 

As I have watched people in my region by and large  retreat into fear and suspicion, I am struck again and again by the Words of Jesus - "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold." Matthew 24:12

It sure seems to be the way of things lately, doesn't it? If you are like me, you are wondering where in the world the love is lately... 

I have some good news for you... in fact, some really Good News...

Real Love hasn't gone anywhere! He's still here, in the hearts of His followers/children, looking to be unleashed on this lonely, fearful, suspicious, and hurting world. 

Wherever you see love overcoming evil, there He is. In the smile of a stranger, in the eyes of a humble bus driver, or the caring hands of a hospice nurse. Or, in the arms of a soup kitchen volunteer giving food to the hungry. In the voice of a tenderhearted preacher, or the overworked and very underpaid teacher. 

God says in Scripture that if you look for Him with all your heart, He will let you find Him... "If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me." Jeremiah 29:13

"For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life" John 3:16. (yes, THAT'S what those signs at football games mean ;) 

He loves you way more than you can even imagine! 

With that thought, I wish for you a New Year that brings more joy and hope than you ever thought possible! God bless, make beautiful music,  and stay safe!  <><

**If you would like more information on how to have a relationship with Jesus, leave me a note and I will help you in your search! 

So you are still single, huh?

Oh my-lanta... 

Have you ever had one of those days where you desperately wished that you could bring a fake tree around with you to hide in or behind all day?!?!?

Sometimes people mean well, but say the most unhelpful things... you know them, the "WMC"s, or 'Well Meaning Christians'; if they are not Christian, you can call them WMS' or "Well Meaning Souls". (shake my head) 

With them, you need extra grace... generally a bottomless supply. 

I got a great video from a friend that hit the nail on the head. "Things People Say to Singles" ... all.the.time. and yes, they do. I can personally attest to that. In fact, I could have added half dozen more. 
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FC1M1CNU

With another  tidal wave proportion of my friends "Tying the Knot" and taking the plunge, it seems that my circle of friends has gotten abysmally smaller. We that are left seem to cling together like drowning souls on a life raft. 

While I am vehemently vexed at the onslaught of platitudes assailing me, I can take comfort in ONE thing and ONE thing alone. 

Jesus is with me. He knows I am sometimes really really tired of taking this trip "alone". He knows how it is to ache for a hug or just someone to come home to. He gets it... He knows the desires of my heart. In fact, I might even go as far as to say, HE PUT a whole bunch of them there! 

Laughter has been a saving grace for me, and the love of my growing friends and family is refreshing! 

So, one day at a time, one moment at a time, I choose to let Him love me in the lonely times as much as I know He does all the other times. 

I try and let Him, day by day, shift my often all too selfish focus onto Him, and I find that He sends me sooo many signs that He loves me and is with me :)   


God bless you as you row closer to Home! 

Stretched to the breaking point

Ok... I have had more mental ramblings lately. My fervent hope is that I can convey them in a way that somehow resembles sense ... : P

The question I am going to pose to you tonight is this:

Are you being stretched? Stretched so tight you can almost see your bones underneath? O_o

I have had SOME kind of stretching lately...

How much more can I get pulled apart at the seams before before I BREAK!!?!?!? At nearly six feet tall, I think I am "stretched" enough! lol

But seriously, I can relate. I have had all kinds of struggles as of late... I won't tell you all of them, but I have been dealing with all kinds of doubts, financial windfalls, bends toward depression and hopelessness... it's sometimes so hard to remember "This, too, shall pass" - the constant encouragement that this old world is not my long term home... that I have a bright future and hope :D

There have been times during the past few weeks where I have felt that I am so alone, and no one understands the pain and loss that I have dealt with these past few years.

I really could have a great pity party... In fact, I have, truth be told. Unfortunately, I was the only one that showed up for the party, and it wasn't all that fun.

So... in answer to the above question? How far can we be stretched before we break? What if I tell you that for me, that was the whole POINT?!

"What?? You are certifiable", you grimace skeptically...

Yes, I am... most certainly... :) BUT this "testing" is GOOD! : )

Did you know that when silver and gold are heated to excruciatingly high temperatures the impurities, or dross are/is removed? Removing them makes the precious metals more and more (pure) beautiful! As the dross is removed, you can see your reflection more and more clearly in them. It takes time to remove ALL of the junk! It can be a long process!

When you combine pressure with heat in coal, it produces a diamond. Likewise, when we let the trials shape rather than shatter our character, we sparkle!

I, for one, am endlessly captivated by the beauty and sparkle of diamonds. <3

For me, my trials and pains aren't wasted! I have a promise from my Father, (the Heavenly One) that every pain I go through will have a purpose... that somehow - someway He will produce something good! Even if it seems hopeless... He LOVES hopeless, cuz for Him, it's not!

Remember that when the kitchen gets too hot...

and have a "sparkling" week!

Thank you to the Open School of Gemology for the blog pic : )